Here is one of the simple truths of love and sex in the modern world: You need to be willing to have frank, open discussions with your partner about all matters relating to sex.

To put it bluntly, it’s not the 1950’s anymore, and it’s not a great idea to be shy or ashamed when it comes to talking to your partner about sex. If you’re a little bashful about it, remember, they talk about this stuff on daytime TV, so why be embarrassed over talking about it with the person you take to bed?

You should be willing to talk about every possible detail of your sex life with your partner, be willing to listen, and put no subject out of bounds. This is true when discussing more personal details of satisfaction, but especially true when it comes to issues of health.

If you have, or have had in the past, HPV, you need to tell any new sex partner before intercourse occurs. We know that all of this sort of clinical advice can be difficult to put to work in the real world. There’s no better way to spoil that “first time” mood than to say “Oh by the way, I have genital warts, but it’s all cleared up, now!”

What you need to do, then, is simply not be bashful about the sexual tension between yourself and your new potential partner. There are no set rules for this sort of thing, but as soon as sexual interaction becomes an open possibility for the future, say around the second date (or the end of the first, if you’re getting along incredibly well) it’s a good idea for both partners to divulge their sexual histories to one another. Get it out of the way early on so you don’t have to surprise anyone with it later.

Now, let’s say you’re clean, you’ve never contracted HPV or any other sort of venereal disease, so… do you need to have this talk?

Yes, of course you do. Having a frank talk about venereal diseases and sexual history isn’t just for your partner’s benefit, it’s for your benefit, as well. In the event that your partner does have HPV or another STD, you need to talk about it, and somebody needs to break the ice. That won’t always be the person who actually does have HPV. It’s not that somebody’s trying to keep a secret, but… can be embarrassing for someone who’s suffered genital HPV to willingly bring it up, so that puts the burden on your shoulders to get the talk started.

In this day and age, we’re not going to say “Ask your partner for a full list of the names and phone numbers of every previous sexual partner”, but some time does need to be dedicated to talking about this sort of thing. Know “where your partner has been”, as it were.

In short, educate yourself on HPV and other sexually transmitted diseases, and don’t be embarrassed. It’s a talk that every couple needs to have.

And remember that HPV isn’t a red light for a sexual relationship, it only means that you need to be careful. Remember that HPV can still be spread without any visible symptoms taking place, and even with a condom, so if you do contract HPV, talk with your physician before having sex again.

See the original post here: Talking to your Sex Partner about HPV